The title of my blog is “lonely recovery” but the truth is I am not alone. I just felt alone. I had support from everybody and had no idea. My brother was the first one to notice my problem. He told my husband of his concern. My husband dragged me out of a crack den, took my phone away and pretty much put me on house arrest. He even took time of work to make sure I was safe. At this time in our lives we couldn’t afford for him to take time off work. But he cared that much that he chose me over everything else. Something that I had forgotten to do for my family. I put them second.
My friends would invite me over to keep me occupied and attempt to keep my mind of smoking meth. My best friend even took me out horse riding knowing it would take a few hours and even if it was only a few hours it was better than me running straight to a pipe in a dirty, dark shed. They made me delete phone numbers of people associated with the drug.
My son has been my motivation as you would know if you read my other posts. He is the sole reason why I gave up. I wasn’t happy when i was coming down and he saw me in a horrific state, a state no child should see their mother in. He gave me hugs, gave me positive feedback, telling me that i was beautiful and that he wants me to get better because when I wasn’t happy it made him not happy. he was the one that noticed I haddent eaten in days and forced me to eat. he walked into my room where i had been in bed for the past 3 days. He came sat on my bed with a packet of chips and told me I had to eat so that id grow big and strong and food helps the good germs fight the badies and id feel better. This is what i told him so i had no choice but to eat the chips. he sat there on my bed and made sure id eaten them all before leaving the bedroom. before he left he said he was proud. I wanted to be healthy again and make him proud every day because he makes me proud every day.
My friends mother noticed that my posts on facebook were a bit odd and called me asking if i was ok. I broke down in tears telling her everything. she set up a meeting to see a psychologist she knew in order to guide me through my issues.
This brings me to my psychologist. He is amazing. I have seen plenty of them throughout my life for other countless issues I have and thought this guy was going to be another one of those educated idiots that ask you how you feel and teaches you breathing exercises. I can say I wasn’t interested and I resented him till the third session. he was extremely laid back and told me how it was. he told me I was selfish and told me I was acting like a child. he also told me that I needed to change and want to change if I wanted to get better and get my son back. I needed somebody to tell me the harsh truth and he was the person to do it. He also never stops working. he called me after hours, when he didn’t hear from me and even made a house call because I avoided those calls. He knew I slipped up and knew I wasn’t taking care of myself. He took me out to the shops and made me buy food so I had no money to buy any more drugs. It worked. My psychologist is the best guy at what he does and it’s because he cares.
Support from strangers like you reading this. Thank you. Your support is amazing and encouraging. You don’t know me and I don’t know you. You have no idea about my background or what I have done but when it comes to my struggle with addiction you have backed me. It’s amazing how powerful your support is. if you like, comment or follow…you are making a difference.
I wasn’t alone and still continue to receive support. If you have a problem with drug addiction, know you’re not alone. It’s ok to seek help.
lonelyrecovery 